Your Happiness is Your Responsibility

How to Find Happiness Within Yourself by Shifting Your Mindset

a woman standing in a field holding balloons in golden hour.

Each one of us is capable of being happy. However, you may have noticed that it comes more naturally to some than others. The difference between the first and the latter is the mindset and the perspective they choose to adopt. In the words of Buddha, “There is no path to happiness; happiness is the path.” Many of us wait to reach a certain point in life to feel happy. We associate happiness with external factors, such as certain expectations, circumstances, or conclusions. However, the truth is that all external factors in life, including our desires, are ever-changing. So the question is, why do you want to bank your happiness on something that's ever transposing?

Now is the moment where your happiness lies; now is the time to be joyful, as there is no certainty about the existence of the next moment.

Although it may appear that external factors determine happiness, achieving more fulfillment in life can create in-depth bliss, an internal feeling.

Become Aware of Your Stressors

Stress is the number one killer of happiness. Yet it’s normal to have stress - it’s a part of life. However, you must learn to manage stress positively and become aware of your stressors. Identifying the stressors and learning to handle pressure are keys to maintaining fair levels of happiness.

Stressors such as relationships, marriage, divorce, job loss, toxic work environments, financial instability, and illness are the most common stressors for adults. Learn to create and live a lifestyle that reduces these stresses. Remember that the situation may or may not persist or even materialize, but losing time and energy worrying about it definitely won’t fix anything. Instead, it would only make things worse. Shift your focus to the positive aspects and things that you can control.

What Makes You Happy?

Self-awareness is an exclusive luxury that is not common among many people. Spend time with yourself and get to know yourself better. Understand what truly makes you happy. Often, our idea of happiness comes from influences around us, including social media and the people we surround ourselves with. While inspiration can come from various sources, happiness is not a universally applicable concept. The good news is that you can find your own shoes!

Work on understanding what really moves you. It can be as small as having a cup of coffee, watching the sunset, or enjoying the fresh breeze by the beach. Feeling fulfilled does not always require expensive clothes or landing a big client. Sometimes, the little things have a big impact.

Engage in activities that truly make you happy and allow you to connect with your core, no matter how unique they might seem.

Contribute to the Society

One of the fastest ways to feel fulfilled is through kindness. Invest your time or money into helping others and giving back to the community. Volunteering gives people a sense of purpose. The fulfilling feeling of giving back and contributing to society is unparalleled. And it’s a chance for you to earn some good karma!

It is statistically proven that people who volunteer regularly are physically and mentally healthier. Individuals who have volunteered throughout their lifetime typically live longer and have better psychological well-being.

Lower Your Expectations

“Low expectations are the key to happiness in life.” - Christopher Miller.

Having a steady support structure is vital for our wellbeing. However, when we get too wrapped up in high expectations, we certainly give the responsibility for our happiness to others. Learn to manage your expectations and take accountability for your own happiness.

People are there to support you, but it’s not their responsibility to make you happy or fulfilled. Happiness can be created together by sharing and accomplishing things together. But there are times when that is not an option, and in those circumstances, it’s your job to take care of yourself and shift your perspective.

Time goes by anyway, with or without someone; what matters is how you spend your time.

Live in the Moment

Don’t let the sadness of the past and the worries of the future rob you of joy in the present. Whatever happened happened, and whatever is to come will come. The only thing in your control is the present moment and what you choose to do with it.

Choose to take care of yourself physically, mentally, and spiritually. I’d like to use the analogy of a jar here: What you put in the jar, you will get out of it. If you put in positivity, you must receive positivity.

As you start to live more gratefully in the present and realize that, regardless of the difficulties, you still have so much to be grateful for, things around you shift for the better. Practice gratitude even for the most minor things you take for granted, such as a roof over your head, the safety of your home, nourishing food, health, supportive relationships, and so on. There is always something to be grateful for.

Take inspired action.

Once you have decided to take responsibility for your happiness, take action to ensure you are in charge. Whether speaking to a professional is the first step to receiving the support you need or starting an activity you think will make you feel happier, anything that you feel will move you forward. Deep down, we all know what we need to do, but often, we choose to ignore it. We often succumb to cognitive errors such as blaming others, playing the victim, or viewing situations in black and white, which only serves to prolong our misery. This is just what the mind does, as it’s a more accessible and familiar pattern.

Be creative in your thinking, and don’t wait for things to change or something to happen. Happiness is an essential aspect of life. Learn how to reframe your mindset and shift your perspective in order to find happiness today!

If you are a HerMeNow participant or alumni, book your free coaching session now through the HerMeNow website https://www.hermenow.com/wellness.